Friday, July 8, 2011

Pick up that Poo... Or ELSE!

First, some quick reading homework for ya...

READ ME

If you don't have the time (and I know most of you don't), here is the gist:

How POO-fect is THIS?!?
There is now simple DNA testing for dog poo, to identify the poo-er. In the Reuters story at the link, in Conway, MA an apartment manager fed up with steaming piles left about her charge decided to enlist newly mass produced DNA technology called "PooPrints," developed by BioPet Vet Labs of Knoxville, Tennessee. 

How does it work? They basically require every new pet that moves in to the property to provide a cheek swab (MOUTH cheek...) so their doggy DNA is extracted and entered into the system. As time passes, and bombs are dropped about the property and left unattended, the property manager mails a "gumball sized amount" of the poo in question to the testing facility (and that is legal with the USPS HOW?!? Again, ew.) and the guilty pooch (rather, their naughty person) is identified. Then the owner is hit with a pretty hefty fine--$1000 in some referenced cases. And the accuracy rate is listed at 99.9%, so good luck explaining that one away when Geraldo or Maury reveal the DNA results... "You, Scruffy, ARE the father... of the brown babies in question..." <dog howls>

Wait - why, again? It seems that some property managers are ready and willing to take CSI-style investigation into their own hands. But I wonder, will it one day become illegal to snatch up dog poo without the express written consent of the owner? Will this stand up and be admissible evidence? Will the testing, sampling and processing (ew...) procedures become inadmissible because they were not handled by experts in the field? The imagination just runs WILD on this topic and the hours of due process (or shall I say... DOO POO-cess) it one day might command.

Bottom line is that DNA testing, even for what seem like such trivial things as dog droppings left behind, is rapidly finding its way into the hands of common folks like you and me. I can only imagine how this mainstreaming could begin to translate into widespread "who-dunnit" style CSI <insert your town here>-meets Angela Lansbury DIY crime investigations all over the place. No longer a highly technical futuristic tool for the researcher or investigator with years of training and education under their belts to wield, this seems to be the edge of a pretty step cliff that will level the playing field so to speak for using science to proving sourcing and more... and prove it beyond a shad-DOO of a doubt....! Sorry. Could not resist.

All in all, it seems kinda cool, but also makes me want to take my recycling home with me when I finish off a Diet Coke. Leave no trace! ...Or else!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Rooms with a View...YOUR View

I was thinking a lot about rooms recently - specifically, how rooms of homes are planned, named, and how their purpose is truly determined. How are those spaces defined, and who should define them? Is it the furniture stores that sell attractive, culturally acceptable concepts of what rooms should be and how time should be spent in them? Is it the architects that design the home initially, captioning the space on the floorplan? I mean, is it really such a stretch to delete certain traditional rooms and add others when you make a house your own?

My first thought was that there are some self-evident rooms that always seem to be standard issue:
  • A kitchen is an easy one. They have specific appliances and such that truly dictate their purpose. You don't often see a sub-Zero fridge in a bedroom, nor a king size bed in a kitchen. Nearly every home has a kitchen of some kind--sometimes two in the case of an in-law suite. You walk into a house and nearly always know it is the kitchen, even when the appliances are all stripped out (courtesy of the ever-popular foreclosure or short sale, or just someone who REALLY wanted to take their appliances with them). It is an easy identification.
  • Garages: Though I have seem my share of garages that become finished family rooms (in various degrees of DIY and professional "finish" to be sure), and a plethora of garages that are more storage spaces than a place to park a car (including how our garage was used growing up--never a car parked inside), it is pretty clear from the inside and outside that a garage is (or was) such a space.
  • Bathroom: Toilet. Sink. Possibly a tub, shower, tub/shower, bidet, fan, etc. There is no denying a bathroom. Though again, in my travels I have seen a bathroom or two that has undergone DIY retasking: Photography darkroom, storage closet, blacklit greenhouse, and cat bedroom/bathroom are some examples.
That said, some long-standing rooms and spaces that used to be found on the majority of home floorplans seem to be disappearing. Parlors, formal living rooms, formal dining rooms, etc. are some of the victims of this cultural design shift. They are being replaced by great rooms and open floorplans that show flexible spaces up for interpretation and imagination--not third-party declarations of purpose. Most rooms in an traditionally, culturally Western house (even those initially defined on a plan by an architect) are in reality left to your chosen culture, lifestyle, and practical (or not so practical!) needs as an occupant. You define the spaces. When you think about it, the furniture (or other defining items) you choose to put in it tell the room what it is - not the other way around. If you decide to put a desk and a chair in a walk-in closet, it becomes an office. Right?

When we move to our new home later this month, we have plans for:
  • A LEGO ROOM: This space will take the place of an extra bedroom across the hall from my son's main bedroom. The plan is to give our little Lego enthusiast a place to do his thing, and create a gallery. We will be putting up several sets of wood plank style wall shelves, where we can take the plank down, affix a Lego baseplate, and he can anchor his creation for display short or long-term. He enjoys spending hours upon hours coming up with some pretty intricate designs, and understandably gets upset when they get stomped, vacuumed, or otherwise Godzilla-ed by visitors (big and small). This will give him a place to show them off but keep them out of reach as he chooses...AND keeps Legos off of my floor and out from between my toes in the middle of the night...clear WIN. Who needs a guest room, anyway? He will use this all the time.
  • An official, dedicated HOME OFFICE: This will be in what is per plan, the formal dining room. Changes include replacing the chandelier with a much more practical ceiling fan, adding some doors for privacy, and filling with office furniture (and a chaise lounge allowing for a more informal workspace/reading place). This will also help set the cultural expectation in our family that when I am in that room, I am not at "home" - I am at work. Respect my space!
  • A PROJECT ROOM: Taking the place of another extra bedroom (that also houses the upstairs laundry room), this is a place where our collective art and craft projects can sit undisturbed... and I can simply shut the door when I grow tired of the project until I revisit it or when company comes to visit! A guilty pleasure, but much more useful than a den or another guest room.
  • A RUG-RAT RUMPUS ROOM: Taking the place of the formal living room (aka: "The excitement room" as my son said he wants to call it) this will be a room with a lounging couch or two, some colorful beanbags, a couple of stocked bookshelves, the train table (aka puzzle, Lego, Bionicle, and transformer table) and bins of toys. Though we initially thought about relegating this room to the basement, I actually like my kiddo, and want him (and his cousins) to be able to play on the same level where we plan to spend most of our time. It is adjacent to my home office, though separated by a set of french doors so I can keep an eye on him while I work from home (after all, good "fences" make good neighbors--even inside of your own home).
  • The MAN LEVEL: The best use for a finished basement in our home is self-explanatory. The man level will feature a cool/dark early-to-bed early-to-rise snore-and-thrash-at-will bedroom for the hubster, full bath (where you can leave the seat up 24/7!), wet bar, adult beverage mini-fridge, and sound insulated video game/theater room. Enter the man level at your own risk...though betting some may never want to leave.
The interesting part is that I have been surprised at some of the strong reactions I get when I tell people I am scrapping certain standard-issue rooms to make way for others above. As if opting out of having a traditional formal dining room somehow diminishes my ability to "make house" - I guess it certainly makes me less of a contender for "Domestic Goddess of the Year," anyway :)  Oh, and I am putting a couch in my kitchen. Everyone hangs out there anyway - so why not be comfortable?

What are some of the more creative room ideas/purposes you have come across? Have you ever stripped a room of its intended purpose, and transformed it into something that works better for you, not the architect?