What's Buggin' Me... !

I was driving down the road the other day, when I happened to glance over to my passenger side window. At the very bottom, barely sticking up from the crack in the door, I noticed a single antenna wiggling around. A few seconds later, a second antenna appeared. It was a stinkbug. Living in the door of my car. Gah. I was about to go into a day of meetings and there was NO WAY I was going to leave a stinkbug emitting his acrid cilantroesque funk in my car all day. (And can someone please tell me, which end does that smell come from? Curious. Is it coming from the mouth or the behind? Not that it matters, but ... Anyone know?) Anyway, I parked my car and waited patiently. I put the window down just enough to be able to flick him out when he emerged. I waited 20 minutes... TWENTY. He finally crawled out enough that I thought I could shoo him out the window, but he crawled back in the crack as I advanced <le sigh>. This game of peek-a-boo continued for about 15 more minutes (!) when I finally got frustrated, yanked him out forcibly by his creepy antenna the second he appeared again, and went inside to go about my day. Let's just say that I have become desensitized to these disgusting creatures. But I have also been studying them. Testing methods for disposing of them. Ways to repel them. The natural and not-so-natural enemies and weapons of the stinkbug. And I would like to share some of my knowledge...

• Peppermint oil: Repels, seems to disable (often kills), and makes your house smell minty-fresh! I have been looking for large affordable quantities of the oil, but still somewhat expensive thus far. I am preparing a spray bottle mix of peppermint oil and white vinegar later this week, to see what madness that might yield. Both are enemies of Mr. Stinkbug, though be careful about staining walls with oils. I am hoping this works, as it would be a perfect solution to keep handy in a supersoaker squirtgun for sweet outdoor killing sprees. I tried soapy water in a supersoaker last year, but while it annoyed the stinkers, it was not an effective kill... and I had soap residue all over the exterior of my home :D
• Some citrus oils: Several of these seem to kill, but need to use fairly large quantities per bug/apply directly to the bug. Caldrea's line of essential oil countertop sprays work wonders on ants (only the ones with citrus oil, like ginger pomelo) and are safe for kids/pets. Alas, the spray only seems to repel stinkers, boo. But still yay for the ant killing properties.
• Wet papertowels: When you pluck up the nasties (should you choose to use something other than your bare hand), they can't seem to stink at you through the already wet papertowel.
• Behold... the "Death Jar:"  Take a screw top mason jar and fill about halfway with soapy water (we like citrus scented soaps as they tend to hide the stinkbug smell most effectively). Simply pluck stinkbugs from around the house and drop into the jar, replace the lid and swirl to be sure they have been immersed. The soap solution keeps them from escaping and they eventually drown. I keep our Death Jar going for about a week at a time (let's play a game! ...how many stinkbugs can YOU collect in a week???), then flush the contents down the throne and restart with fresh soapy water for the next round of fun.
• Put out the bat signal: Each night, put a single lamp on the floor of a room and turn off all other light sources. Leave the room and come back in about 30 minutes, and a stinkbug house party will have gathered around the lamp. Grab your "death jar" and start harvesting. Funny enough, many times a stinkbug crawling up a wall will simply fall to his peril if you put the jar under him. Weirdorama.
• Suck up the suckers: Try a wet/dry shop vac, filled with soapy water. Suck those bad boys to their death. Be sure to talk trash to each one you destroy, and break out in fits of manic evil laughter now and again.

I know all of carnage and killing may sound cruel to some of you, but ever hear the sound of a shrieking 6 year old boy with a stinkbug in his bed? Ever had one of these guys drop from your visor into your lap while driving on a highway? Had a chance to actually taste the delicious smell of one of these when they have unknowingly dropped into your food (true story of an unfortunate friend--chili--<shudder>)? Read lately about all of the local crop damage these undesirable transplants are doing, and the sad choice farmers are having to make between otherwise unnecessary pesticides and going out of business (the impact on organic is growing especially fierce)? Yeah. I am definitely on the "by any means necessary" side of the debate, in case you can't tell :D


"Where would you put an injured insect? In an antbulance!"

"How do you spot a modern spider? He doesn't have a web--he has a website." 


And one more kindergarten level funny before I close this out...
"What kind of bees are clumsy, always dropping things ? A fumble bee!"

So what are your best ways to get rid of critters? Especially stinkbuggers and ants. Would love to hear about your successes!  Or even your hilarious failures. :D